Lately, I’ve been realizing something really important about my health and my overall well being. For the past couple of years, especially after having my second baby, I’ve been so focused on losing weight. I kept thinking about getting my body back and getting back to where I was before having kids. Looking back now, I don’t think there was anything wrong with wanting to feel healthy again, but I do think my focus became the wrong thing.

Every time I tried to lose weight, I put so much pressure on myself. I tried calorie deficits, walking every day, running, workout plans, step goals, and different kinds of resets. It felt like every time I made another plan, I expected my body to cooperate. Instead, it almost felt like my body was trying to protect itself.

Last year, I was finally making progress when I ended up with sciatica that lasted for months. I couldn’t exercise the way I wanted to, and eventually I gained the weight back. Then earlier this year, I became so focused on another reset that I ended up struggling with insomnia. That season was incredibly hard, and I’m still grateful that God has brought me through it.

But something shifted in me recently.

I realized that my entire mindset had been about losing weight, when maybe that shouldn’t have been my focus at all.

Instead of asking myself, “How do I lose weight?” I started asking, “How can I support the body God has already given me?”

That question changed everything.

This body carried two babies. It gave birth to both of them. It went through pregnancy, postpartum, breastfeeding, sleepless nights, recovery, and all the changes that come with becoming a mother. Instead of constantly wishing it looked different, I realized I hadn’t really stopped to appreciate everything it had done for me.

The more I thought about it, the more I felt acceptance. Then acceptance slowly turned into gratitude. After that came grace.

Of course my body changed. Of course I’m not shaped the same way I was before having children. Why wouldn’t I be? Motherhood changes us. Instead of fighting that reality, I want to learn to accept where I am and be grateful for the body God has given me.

I also realized that there are so many things about my body that I simply cannot control. I can’t control hormones. I can’t control stress. I can’t control exactly how my body responds or when it decides to lose weight.

One of the biggest things I learned while recovering from insomnia is that our bodies do so many things without our effort. We don’t make ourselves sleep. We don’t make our hearts beat. We don’t tell our bodies how to digest food. They simply do what they were created to do.

I started wondering if losing weight is similar. Maybe my job isn’t to force my body into changing. Maybe my job is simply to care for it well and let my body do what it was designed to do.

That’s when I realized what I really want isn’t just to lose weight.

I want to become strong.

I want to be strong enough to carry my kids, move things around the house, have energy for everyday life, and enjoy the activities I already love like biking, walking, weightlifting, swimming, tennis, and pickleball. I want to exercise because I enjoy becoming stronger, not because I’m trying to punish my body.

If losing weight happens along the way, then that’s a wonderful outcome. But I don’t want it to be the thing that determines whether I’m successful.

I want my focus to be strength, health, gratitude, and caring for the body God has entrusted to me. I want to treat it with kindness instead of pressure. I want to trust the process, do my best each day, and leave the results to God.